The Sweetness of Sisters and a Tribute to our Parents
It is my good fortune to have been born into a family of four girls. In our retirement, we four live far apart from one another in four states and four different time zones. For the first time in many years, we gathered mid-July at our middle-sister’s house to share stories and immerse ourselves in the best of Minnesota summer—just the four of us without children or grandchildren.
We are different in many ways—including our political affiliations and spiritual beliefs—but the threads that weave our sisterly connection—love and respect for our parents, enjoyment of nature, and general good fitness and health—are far stronger than our differences. I know this is not everyone’s story, but I share it as one story of a family functioning in these times.
A 2025 bluebird summer day on White Bear Lake near Stillwater, MN
Growing up in Austin, Minnesota, summers for us included time at nearby lakes. We loved being invited to the lake cottages belonging to different friends. Because of the generosity of those invitations, we learned to paddle that universal Minnesota craft, the canoe and three of us learned to water ski. All four of us had some modest small sailboat experience. And, thanks to Mom who never learned how to swim, we were all enrolled in YMCA swim lessons and became confident swimmers.
Ready for take off on our rented pontoon. Photo by White Bear Lake marina attendant
So, on our first day together we had a grand time with Kathy’s husband captaining us on a pontoon boat. We brought along a picnic dinner and at least one of us jumped in for some serious swimming. (That would be me.)
Ann swimming. Photo by Susie
On our second full day together, we drove south to our hometown to visit the graves of our parents. Sitting on the bench that is our parent’s gravestone, we recounted the last year of their lives . . . so many things we did right, so many things we wished we had done differently. Both Mom and Dad had tough final years—Dad because of a stroke and Mom because of living in a nursing home during Covid.
Standing by our parent’s grave: left to right—Margaret, Susie, Kathy, Ann
photo by someone tending their own loved one’s grave
One of the things my sister, Kathy, said about being with Mom during her dying hours was, “Mom really thought all four of us were there in the room because the nursing home had all of you on zoom with your voices clearly audible.” This was a great healing to me who had made the decision to wait and travel to the graveside service in lieu of a fast trip to her bedside as she passed. (There were still no vaccines in the fall of 2020.)
Our favorite coffee shop on the trip down to Austin—Area 57 CoffeeCafe near Wanamingo, MN. Look alike t-shirts courtesy of our generous sister, Susie.
Photo by coffee shop worker
All of Mom and Dad’s friends, and that generation of neighbors and teachers are now gone, so it felt strange to be there and have almost no one who could remember “the Brown girls.” However, we were able to have lunch with one of my high school friends who has lived in Austin nearly her entire life. Her husband worked in the Hormel Meatpacking Plant, the town’s leading employer, and she taught elementary school.
Through her stories we revisited the big events of the years since we’ve been gone from our hometown. Growing up in an era of no racial diversity, we learned that the Austin Public Schools now have some 44 languages or dialects spoken among the student body. That diversity arrived in 1983 with the much-publicized George Hormel meatpacking strike which greatly split the community. Some longtime Hormel workers crossed the picket line, many did not. Hormel broke the strike by hiring outsiders, many of them new arrivals to America and the Midwest. We were reminded how a single event can change your hometown forever; phenomena we see happening in real time in many communities today.
Every day, some combination of the four of us walked outdoors for a few miles. Just walking, talking, remembering. My three sisters have known me longer than anyone else alive. We remember each other as toddlers, young girls, teenagers, and young moms. And we all remember our last promise to Mom— to continue to love and support each other.
One of the lucky things about having siblings is that we each remember things a little differently so together we can weave a more realistic view of what actually transpired. For example, as the oldest, I remember how strict and often impatient my father was teaching me to drive our stick shift Mercury Comet. My second and third sisters remember being grateful that Dad instructed me to be the one to teach them to drive. Our youngest sister, home alone by the time she was eleven, had the benefit of driver’s education.
Time cooking and eating together prompted many conversations, Photo by John Harrington
Admiring morning coolness, birds, deer, and wild turkeys, we spent a lot of time wandering through our Minnesota sister’s neighborhood and sitting on her deck. All four of us live in semi-rural communities and share a great love for and appreciation of nature. That was a gift from both of our parents. Dad taught us to be comfortable hiking in the wilds of Colorado when we visited there in the summers. Mom’s gift was the wisdom of quiet time observing and enjoying nature.
We were lucky to have the parents we did. They were classic parents of the Great Generation after World War II. Hired by Hormel in 1948, Dad worked his way up from apprentice draftsman in the Engineering Department to Vice President of Engineering. Mom was primarily a homemaker who later became church organist. They were not perfect, but they were honest, hardworking, thrifty, and kind. They both modeled volunteering in their community and above all set their family as a priority. In our own ways we four have passed on similar values to our children and grandchildren. This old-fashioned model of honestly, hardwork, thriftiness and kindness works. It always has. It always will.
Dad and Mom at the Colorado guest ranch where we stayed as an extended family for a couple of weeks every summer for 50 years. This shot from 2012 the last year the ranch was open to the public.
This is so sweet, Ann. I’m glad you got this good, good time together.
You are welcome, my writing friend. I know you know the treasure of sisters. Ann
Thanks Ann for sharing.
You are welcome, Austin friend!
How lovely that the four of you could come together to share memories and enjoy one another! Just a moment ago I finished a book about four sisters which I think you would enjoy. It is Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano. Love to you and looking forward to seeing you soon!
Ah, a book recommendation—always appreciated! Yes, looking forward to seeing you who has stayed in touch since my college years! Thank you, Ann
Beautiful to hear, Ann. My dad was born on a farm just outside of Bird Island, Minnesota. He and my mother (an Iowan orphan at age 13) migrated from their birthplaces to Kansas City and were similar in their honestly, hardwork, thriftiness and kindness. I remember them with such gratefulness for these qualities and also their abiding goodness. They stayed with me through my life journey and lived until their late 90s (dad 99 and mom 98), loving me even as I chose paths not always consistent with their own. Thanks, Ann, for your reflections which have prompted these from me – and thank you also and always Mom and Dad.
Hello George! Love your tribute to your mother and father! My dad lived until 87 and Mom until 93. It is a treasure having our parents live a long time. We learn so much about aging from them. And my parents, too, honored some of the choices I made which were different than the paths they chose. Honest conversation always got us through things. Ann
Thank you Ann for sharing this heartfelt story of you and your sisters gathering and cherishing each other.
With appreciation for your words, Sharon. And hello across the miles! Ann
I see your mom in you. Lucky, indeed, to have the strong bond you do with your siblings.
Dear Cheryl, Yes, the more I age the more I look like Mom and appreciate that likeness. Our sisterly bond is something we tend all the time through texts and phone calls. Ann
What a precious reunion. I’m certain your parents walked proudly beside you all during this treasured visit.
Thank you, Laura. Yes, Mom and Dad were mentioned in many stories we exchanged. And I do believe they were with us all the time. Ann
Aaahh…reading this has made my mental-emotional “tumblers” all move into place, Ann, thereby unlocking my heart and mind to a more open, relieved, and grateful state of being. Thank you! The four of you sound and look as though you genuinely enjoy one another’s company. Yay!
Hugs from Toronto,
James
Hello James! What a delightful way to phrase your appreciation! Yes, we geuinely enjoy and cherish one another’s company. Ann
A beautiful reminder of the values and ethics so needed in these times. And which are living on in each of you and your gathering time. thanks so much for the guidance and teaching…. love… Anne
Hello Anne! We do our best to live the ethics and values passed on by our dear parents. And I do agree they are so needed in these times! Ann
I loved reading about your time with your sisters. It’s my mother’s birthday today and I’m remembering her as I read about your mother.
Dear Ann, Remembering is such an important part of keeping the threads woven between the worlds. And it is how we keep our ancestor’s memories alive! Bless you, Ann
Hey Ann,
Enjoyed this lovely summary of our days together. Nice to connect it what we did (boating, Austin) with our childhood. Mom and Dad would be so happy to read this.
For the record, sister Susie taught me to drive a stick-shift. We went out on some backroads in Colorado with James Snow’s little red Datsun. Susie laughed hysterically every time I made a mistake (which was a lot), which was a wonderful way to learn.
Hey Margaret! Love hearing the story about you learning to drive, which I had never heard before. Sure glad we all learned to drive a straight stick! I can imagine Susie being a very fun teacher and it’s probably a good thing that James Snow didn’t see the trials and tribulations imposed on his car. Love, Ann
A touching chronicle of sisterhood. Thank you, Ann.
With appreciation for your voice, Dear Katharine.
Such a marvelous family sibling experience together of values instilled in all of you and the love you share with one another in a culture where we read so much about families at odds with one another. It is refreshing and quite lovely to read about & see the four of you having this special time together!
Hello Rose! So good to hear from you. Thank you for acknowledging that this rendezvous over time, miles and some differences takes tending and loving. Ann
Oh Ann, what an especially wonderful personal story of sisterhood! It warmed my heart and offered a bit of a knowing smile as well, being one of seven females in my family. How lucky for us!
Maybe it’s the Irish blood in us, but like you and your sisters, we easily leave our prejudices at the door and embrace our time, laughing as if we are each other’s best friends. The shared history together, until we each leave home to start our own adult life, counts for so much doesn’t it!
I loved your shamrock shirts! Nice touch from your sister, indeed.
May life grant you more gatherings together, Ann!
Hello Jeanne! Will respond to both of your comments here. Yes, I do think it has something to do with the easy going ways of the Irish. However, just for the record we are 100% Swedish on my mom’s side of the family, so we can’t just credit the Irish!
So very glad you got to meet my mom and her sister at that writing retreat. You know what a sweet, gentle soul she was. And, yes, indeed, may life grant us more gatherings together. Love to you and all your siblings, Ann
p.s. It was a joy to see the photo of your parents, and especially your wonderful Mom!
What a lovely story. Thank you! The reminiscing brought tears to my eyes because I realize at our age the time we will have with our loved ones who live far away is so limited. Sisters are the best! Your story makes me happy that I have upcoming plans to spend time with my two older sisters, Lea and Dea, identical twins eight years older than I. We have a trip planned to Ashland, OR in August and another trip to Mexico together next February.
Dear Glenda, Thank you for sharing your plans to be with your older twin sisters. I am cherishing the responses from so many readers who are older and realize time with siblings is something to treasure now before it is gone. See you in a few days! Ann
I loved reading about the bond between you and your sisters, Ann. And your shared memories of your parents. It’s very relevant to me right now as my last surviving sibling, my older brother (by nearly 12 years) has just died. Now there’s no-one else who remembers those early family days. Important to treasure the sharing while we can!
Dear Diana, Sorry for the loss of your brother and very much appreciate the wisdom of your words. It was not easy to pull off our reunion because of so many scheduling challenges, but we persisted. You are so very right about treasuring the sharing while we can. Those were words we spoke often. Love, Ann
What a wonderful trip! I (often) need to be reminded of how important it is to stay in love and appreciation of others even when our world view is different. I’ve struggled mightily with this ( with friends and extended family) so sometimes seeing how it happens for others can have a meaningful impact on how I might move forward myself. Thanks for sharing.
You are most welcome, Bonnie Rae. Life is such a delicate balance with so many challenges in our daily lives. May the words and actions we share be as uplifting as we are capable of. Surely these times need the infusion of as much love as possible. Ann